Why Homeschool?

I would be lying if I told you our homeschool journey began as a peaceful one. I'd like to be able to say we have known since day one that this was our calling and that it was an easy decision to make. But the truth is, we have spent 4.5 hellish years trying to make public school "work for us". We kept trying to stuff our son into the confines of the system's cookie cutter. After  visits to our family doctor each semester, 6 months with a counselor, two sessions with a neuropsychologist,  after 4 different teachers/one school counselor brought up medication, after battling to the death with a system that was leaving my child behind ... I finally said, "Enough is Enough."

I finally brought him home.

And home is lovely place to be.

Our 10 year old is a very normal 4th grader. He is loud and messy and likes to run, sled, ski, swim, fish. He likes to wrestle, climb trees, hang out with his friends. He likes video games (much to my dismay) and is an avid Spiderman fan. He laughs at farts, he likes to tear things apart to see if he can put them back together. He plays with his siblings and he fights with them too. He is smart, smart, smart in the areas he is interested in. And he cannot focus to save his life when it comes to math. Don't get me wrong: he understands the concepts. (We recently had him tested to see which curriculum we should be buying. He is reading at a 7th grade level and tested into 5th grade math) He just doesn't care enough to sit in class and whip out 5 million math problems just to be sent home with 5 million more. Every day.

He was missing recesses, being sent to the office, being shamed in front of his classmates. (many of whom were having the same problem he was!)  He was coming home every single night in tears. He was missing school because he was sick. A sickness, we discovered in therapy, that stemmed from being intimidated by his teacher.

Re-reading what I just wrote makes my son seem like a child with behavior issues. And while I will be the first one to say he definitely has behavior issues, I will also remind you: he's a ten year old boy. Laughing at inappropriate times, talking during class, and fidgeting all come with the territory. The issues were apparently big enough for him to be punished in a classroom setting ... but not big enough to call his parents to address the issues.

I need to take a time out right quick to say: This is not a blog or post dedicated to slamming teachers or putting the blame on any one teacher. We are so grateful for the amazing, dedicated, wonderful educators out there in the world. I know it is a selfless role to take on and they ought to be applauded and appreciated. It is my personal belief that teachers are given the short end of the stick from nearly all directions. They are expected to perform miracles in classrooms that have too many children in them... and they are expected to perform these miracles with nowhere near the supplies or resources they deserve. It's a tough gig.  But, like every other profession in the world, there are great teachers and there are poor teachers. Two years in a row we have struggled with two separate teachers who simply weren't willing to accept that 'every child learns differently'. Or, perhaps, they were willing to accept that reality, but they were unwilling to do anything about it.

There are many,  many things in the public school system that disturb me to the core. Methods and standards of operation that have literally kept me up at night. I couldn't possibly list them all. But this one is a biggie for me & I'd like to share it:

This is a note from my son's 4th grade teacher. It accompanied a stack of worksheets, chapter review information, and a test. The note was to inform parents that the unit had not been an easy one for her class and that the parents need to finish teaching it to their children because there wasn't enough time in class. I received three letters similar to this one, all within the last year. The subject matter that wasn't being mastered in class? Basic multiplication tables, the concept of time, and adding/subtracting money. The last few sentences of this letter really bother me:

"I have made the decision to move on, even though the majority have not mastered this unit. There are more important lessons we have to cover so we must move forward. I am sending home assignments and tests in hopes that you will continue to work with your fourth grader."



Three issues:

1. Those three things --- multiplication, understanding time, and understanding money  --- seem like pretty important things to me. Important, as in: you will use them every day of your entire life. Whats more important than those?

2. I believe if a subject is worth teaching, its worth mastering. Period.

3. If the school work/tests is going to be sent home for us to teach our children anyway, why am I sending him to school to begin with?

I could go on and on and on here. But I won't. I want this to be a positive read for anyone who stumbles upon it and not a place to talk down an individual whose methods I simply don't agree with.

So, why is homeschool right for our family? There it is. Or rather, there's the ugly of it.

And now, here's the beauty of it:

We started researching homeschool when Ike was in the 2nd grade. We weren't sure if we were going to make the leap or not. It took a few years but we finally did pull him out of the public system. Although the struggles within the classroom were the reason for beginning to look at homeschooling, they were not the reason we finally took the plunge.

Our research led us into the homes of other homeschool families. And there, in those homes, we saw things that took our breath away. We saw children who were brilliant, learning grade levels ahead of where they'd be in public school. We saw brothers and sisters who were best friends. We saw families surrounded by love. We saw parents nurturing their children during the best hours of the day. We saw mothers teaching and in return being taught. We saw fathers who were involved. We saw children who suddenly had time to participate in any extra-curricular activity they wanted because they weren't bogged down with busy work. [[Um, I mean "homework".]]

I asked one mother why she chose homeschool. In her peaceful way she offered me this nugget: "I homeschool because I want to know my children as children. On graduation day I don't want to be the mom who looks back and wonders where all the time went. I want to know I spent as much time with them as I could have and that I gave them the best start I could possibly give them. I don't want them to be casualties of a system that can't possibly cater to every child's needs. I want them to have every tool they need for this life."

I remember thinking this woman --- dear, sweet friend of mine --- was BRILLIANT. Of course those are the reasons we want to homeschool. OF COURSE they were. I hadn't been able to put my finger on it. I knew I was drawn to homeschool for reasons that mattered. I could feel it in every inch of my body. There were plenty of reasons to remove him from public school that felt 'negative' to me. But I wanted to do it for the right reasons. I wanted it to be a positive experience. And what she said to me that day put my feelings into words. Her words have been engrained in my memory for the past three years. I have thought of them daily as we researched homeschool, made the transition, and now that we are settling into our homeschool world. Her words have become my own.

So there you have it. Why did we choose homeschool? For a variety of reasons. But the most important one is this: Because it is whats best for my child as an individual and also whats best for  our family right now. And that should be your reason for doing it to if you end up going down this path.